Is your self-reliance stifling you?
When you’re raised by an unavailable parent—say they had a debilitating physical illness like mine, or struggled with addiction, mental illness, or were emotionally withdrawn—you learn to be prematurely SELF-RELIANT. If your independence was rewarded with compliments of how “good”, “tough”, and “strong” you are, or comments like “I never had to worry about you because you always knew how to care of yourself”, it cemented your notion that SELF-RELIANT is the one and only way to be. As you grew, it’s likely you found evidence supporting that belief.
Currently, your self-reliance might be serving you well in one or two areas of your life and strangling you in others. Here are a few signs your SELF-RELIANCE is working against you:
Do you work to the point of physical illness or emotional exhaustion?
Do you worry that others will notice you don’t have it all figure out and will call you out on it?
Do you wish your partner/family/friends were were better at knowing how to care for you?
Do you think that being NEEDY is the worst possible thing you can be and get offended if anyone implies you are, or annoyed when someone else is being NEEDY?
Are you reactive and then feel shame about it afterwards?
Of course, self-reliance is a necessary trait for all of us but as you can see from the above examples it can also be isolating. Perhaps it’s time to open the door to other parts of yourself that can serve you better in those areas.
Imagine:
Being comfortable setting boundaries around work (and rest) so you feel energized and excited to full engage other areas of your life.
Truly understanding that love is not contingent on being a particular version of yourself.
Not feeling like you have to prove your worth to attain love and letting go of unattainable expectations that others know exactly what you need.
How liberating it would be to admit you have needs and the clarity it will provide you and those around you.
Becoming so in-tuned with how you feel that you can skillfully articulate your feelings/wants/needs it in the moment.
My 8-week online Shadow Alchemy course will teach you how to access and befriend other parts of yourself to better serve you when you need them. You’ll understand the place self-reliance has in your life: how and when it’s good for you and how and when it’s gets in your way.
What's included in Shadow Alchemy:
7 group sessions: Learn a proven methodology to help you identify ways you are self-sabotaging and learn to transform and empower your self-view.
3 online individual coaching sessions: Get individual support identifying your blind-spots (Shadows) and learn to apply the theories and methods you learn in the group to your own life.
Weekly yoga classes: Move out of the theoretical conversation and into a deeper understanding of yourself beyond words.
Community forum: Feel the full support of a community of like-minded people who are in the similar inner-process and share the same language with you.
Resource database: Recommended readings, books, and movies to reinforce this new filter for how you see yourself and the world around you.
Online: This course and all of it's components happen online, so you can attend from anywhere in the world.
BUT FIRST...
Check out my FREE introductory workshop ("Intro to the Shadow"). I'll explain what I mean when I refer to "different parts of you"; you'll learn about general character traits (archetypes) we all share and how they can serve you or hinder you.
