Can you take a compliment?
The sitcom "New Girl" single-handedly carried me through the pandemic lockdown a couple years ago. It was such a pleasure to witness the dynamic of the main characters and I can easily relate to their awkwardness and immaturity. Jessica Day is the female lead whose inability to take a compliment makes me laugh out loud every time because she perfectly embodies how compliments make me feel.
There are some compliments I can receive with grace and ease because these are aspects of myself I acknowledge and accept as me. Other compliments make me want to run out of the room from the discomfort of it because somewhere along the line I decided that I don’t get to be those things and I believe they aren’t me (even though secretly I wish they were).
The latter is what Carl Jung referred to as the “Golden Shadow”. “Shadows” are what we don’t accept about ourselves. Typically, when people talk about Shadow they are referring to seemingly terrible parts, but the Golden Shadow refers to what we’d consider positive attributes.
Our Shadows, whether golden or otherwise, make us very uncomfortable when we hear them associated with us. Awkwardness or rejection of a compliment can point to a specific Golden Shadow. Jealousy is another great indicator of them: we see the trait in someone else and feel jealous because we believe they have it and we don’t. The truth is we just haven’t accepted it about ourselves yet and in doing so we abandon powerful aspects and our ability to enjoy everything about who we are.
What specific compliment do you have a hard time accepting?
Why is it so hard to hear others describe you that way?
What prevents you from allowing yourself to own it?
What do you think would happen if you did?
For your pleasure, below is a video of Jessica awkwardly rejecting a compliment. Then, check out my events page for the FREE webinar called Golden Shadow.
