I jumped out of an airplane and felt nothing.

In my late 20s, I jumped out of an airplane at 14,000 feet and felt nothing.

I was not scared or thrilled—I was completely indifferent. When I landed, I saw my friend who had jumped out of the plane minutes before me, hopping up and down and screaming with excitement.

I planned this skydive trip because I could tell something in me had shut down and I hoped the thrill of jumping out of a moving airplane would startle it awake, but it didn’t.

The next morning, I called a therapist to schedule an appointment, and when he asked why I was interested in therapy, I said: "I think I am apathetic."

For the next several months, we sat in his office where I recited events from my life with limited enthusiasm or interest. Occasionally he’d ask me to stop and share how I felt, to which I replied the same every time: "I feel fine."

I was so disconnected from my body that I had no idea what he was asking of me.

He suggested I try yoga, and so I committed to practicing twice a week for a few months. At first, I felt very awkward, stiff, and clumsy, but eventually the movement got easier and with it came a new awareness of my felt experience.

Sometimes in Svasana, I’d be overcome with emotion: Sadness, elation, gratitude, love, and rage all visited me in the quiet, dark moments at the end of my practice.

I hadn’t experienced these emotions before and I became really curious about what was happening to me: Where had my emotions been hiding? Why wasn’t I able to access these emotions before?

Even though I was an adult, my emotional intelligence (EQ) was childlike. I didn’t know how to identify, process, or talk about my feelings or emotions. I was either highly reactive or a stone wall.

It was right around that time that I learned about Carl Jung and his theory of the inner-Shadow.

I was fascinated by the idea that there were parts of myself that I didn’t know about or had cut myself off from, and after awakening to my emotions, I was eager to find what else I was missing.

As I learned about my Shadows, I saw how much they drove my behaviors. I was like a driverless car gone wild, blindly crashing into buildings, and running people over on the street.

I was so guarded with the people in my life that I felt very alone. As I learned to be more comfortable with my emotions, I grew more capable of being present with other people’s emotional experiences, which opened me up to the kinds of intimate connections I had always longed for in my relationships.

I learned to be more skillful at communication, to notice when I was projecting on to others, and to be tuned-in to my emotional triggers before being overtaken by them.

Yoga is not separate from Shadow discovery, but a tool for it.

Studying the theory of Shadow is extremely interesting, but that alone won’t create change in your life. Learning to embody your Shadows will.

Practicing yoga feels great, but having an understanding of your Shadows will give your yoga practice a very specific and powerful purpose.

The combination of yoga and inner Shadow give you access to fully EMBODY YOUR LIFE.

Have questions? Let's chat!  BOOK A FREE 30 MINS. ZOOM CALL