Boundaries are about your behavior.

It can feel hard setting boundaries when it’s not something you’re used to. It feels like you’re being rigid and asking a lot of the other person. This approach can leave you feeling frustrated and resentful when the other person doesn’t alter their behavior the way you want them to.

In truth, boundaries make no request of the other person, but are guidelines for how *you* engage. For example, if someone is being a dick to you, you’re not asking them not to be a dick(though you can certainly start with that request), your boundary simply states that when they act like a dick you’ll remove yourself from the situation. They don’t even have to know it’s a boundary you’ve set. It can be an agreement you have with yourself around what you make yourself available or unavailable to.